Rethinking Yoga

 

I've been rethinking "yoga" a lot recently.  The basis of my business.    

The most typical representation of yoga and mindfulness can at times feel suppressive.  It can feel more attuned to toxic positivity than it does to its roots:  an invitation to be whole and connected (yoga is a sanskrit word meaning "union") within yourself and with the world.   

I even find myself steering clear of anything titled "mindful approaches toward..." as I assume that it will be superficial and simplistic.   It so often feels that the western mentality glommed on to (or redefined) the aspects of yoga and mindfulness that are good at "fixing", top down approaches (think positive thoughts!), and external and appearance-based reasons behind the practice. 

I know I'm not the only one to see this and critique it, but I see yoga especially being misunderstood around children - the core of my work.  Yoga for kids is met with excitement as a tool to get these children to calm down and see things logically.  Take a deep breath and think positive thoughts.  

I wish it worked this way, but it doesn't.  Think about the last time you were really upset about something and your partner or parent or friend said, "now just relax!"  Yeah.  That's how kids feel too.  

Yes, looking for joy can reset a brain that is conditioned (as a safety mechanism) to only see hardship as it shifts neuronal pathways to allow space for new information.   Breathwork is energy work that does calm the nervous system, and the typical nervous system is a little haywire these days, so learning what it can feel like to be stable is a first step.  These are good.  But they're not the whole picture. 

Under the surface, we are coloring our use of yoga with our deeply ingrained, often unexamined, vision of  what it means to be a human.  We all do this with all of our collective and individual "goggles".  I always say, "however you show up to yoga is how you show up to your life."  It's all we can do.  We only see out of one set of eyes. 

But the yoga mat is an opportunity to dive within.  And guess what -  it's not only rainbows and butterflies in there.  But when we go through the storm, we actually find more joy and depth of feeling afterward.  When we numb the hard stuff, we numb all of it.  

So what can yoga look like?  Sitting in stillness, with the wind of conditioning spinning all around, lets you see more clearly and simply say, "wow, how interesting."  With reverence and fascination, not judgement.  The breath is a pathway into your body consciousness so that you are more fully aware of yourself. The mindfulness practice invites you to stay with discomfort and the unknown and be so brave doing it.  The yoga postures break apart habitual tension and traumas, hopefully leaving you, occasionally at least, sobbing.  And we can follow the body's desires on when and where to move, instead of prescribing a posture from the outside in, to elicit more healing. 

Yoga and mindfulness are an invitation into your center.  At our center, we can  know peace and joy naturally.  At their center, all children are beautiful, KIND, love to share and have a really good sense of right and wrong.  They are so much more aware and capable, right from birth, than our society ever gives them credit for.  And they live closer to their center naturally.  They are the brightest of lights just because they are so fresh.  Things get stuck on their shiny lights (heartbreak, trauma, disconnection, misunderstanding) and then you see "bad" behaviors.  There is never a need to teach kindness or love.  It is our birthright.   Just let the outer layers tell their story and release. 

To practice yoga with kids then means, at it's core, to just hold their beautiful light in your eyes, looking past the sticky stuff.  We don't allow the "bad" behavior, but we see it for what it is:  A child who is hurting.  You can hold them and let them cry and reconnect instead.  Then they'll be shiny and new again.  This is yoga.  We are whole, beautiful beings made of love and desire to be connected.  Sometimes things get in the way.  Sit with those and let the wise healing processes in your body clear them through a good emotional release, storytelling, movement, somatic processing, or whatever gets down into the nitty gritty, lets you swear and cry a bit, and then you find yourself lighter on the other side.